This Week in Friend Slop: Your Friends Are Now Legally Your Problem

Somebody just got yeeted off a cliff by the guy who is, physically, still attached to you.

Chained Beasts bursts into the catalog as this week's loudest new addition — a gladiator roguelike that takes the premise of Chained Together and arms it. All four of you are shackled wrist to wrist, which means every decision your friend makes is now also happening to your body. Charge an enemy? Congrats, you charged too. Get launched into a pit? Everyone is going swimming. It is chaos distilled into a leash, and the vibe is less cooperative squad and more three-legged race with swords and consequences.

Set it next to PEAK and the lineage is obvious. PEAK already proved that nothing in this catalog is funnier than a friend who can physically ruin your run just by standing near you — climb a cursed mountain together and the real threat was never the altitude, it was Steve grabbing your rope on the way down. Chained Beasts takes that same my-friend-is-also-my-hazard energy and skips the mountain entirely: you do not need elevation to get dragged off a ledge when you are welded to the guy who just panicked.

Both games land on the same joke the whole catalog keeps rediscovering: the scariest thing in co-op was never the monster, it was always the person on your mic. PEAK just makes you climb for it. Chained Beasts shackles you to the bit from minute one.

If your group has been sleeping on PEAK, that is the warm-up. Chained Beasts is the sequel nobody asked for and everybody deserves — four friends, one chain, zero way to blame anyone but each other.

Grab three friends, pick a direction, and find out whose fault it actually is.